28 March 2013 @ 12:50 am
-- well maybe not EVERYTHING because i still feel like i need to write more here and a simple list feels insufficient, but can i just freak out about the protomen a bit? i haven't been heavily involved in any sort of fandom for a pretty long time but now i know how it feels again haha omg

went to pax east this past weekend and it was pretty great, though mostly because protomen. i didn't really feel like waiting on ten hour lines this year so i finished checking out the expo hall on the first day (TRANSISTOOOORRRRR), and other than maybe a couple panels didn't have much to do besides lurk around the protomen table, which is what i mostly did. i get kind of nervous around people i think are really cool so i get REALLY nervous around people i think are the MOST AMAZING COOLEST so actually maybe i didn't lurk around the protomen table so much as i lurked around the opposite side of the room kind of glancing over once in a while? BUT I DID end up going over eventually and of course they are super nice and very chill (which of course i know but that just makes them cooler and that just makes me more nervous aaaaa) and panther was the most friendliest ever, haha. after the friday concert i figured i'd hang out by the table for a bit, and he just came up and said hi without any sort of prompting from me though it was probably because i was just standing right next to him awkwardly trying to figure out how to talk to him uhhh

sometimes i can't tell if i'm bad at conversation because i'm nervous or if i'm just bad at conversation. i think it might actually be the latter because ben tried to skype me in denmark once and i was like "HI I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU I LOVE YOU FOREVER......... now what" but being nervous probably doesn't help much either, and thinking of myself as being bad at conversation probably doesn't help to make me less nervous dsjklgahsdg

anyway i found out that they were playing a show in danbury on tuesday (actually i thought it was on monday up until monday afternoon when tusa was like "wait i just checked the internet and is it just me or are they playing on tuesday not monday" and i was like "DAMMIT WHY DO I DO THIS SORT OF THING EVERY SINGLE TIME"), which is about an hour's drive from my school but about six hours by public transport because connecticut. luckily tusa is from danbury so i managed to get a ride from her to my first non-pax protomen show, hurrah! it was at a much smaller venue and pretty nice and intimate -- i'm terrible at estimating numbers of people, but i'd say there were maybe slightly over a hundred or so? i was worried it'd be kind of crazy because i'm honestly not too big on moshing and stuff and i also wanted to bring my dslr but it was pretty perfectly energetic without being too much, actually. i was right up at the front, too, which was super cool.

they always set up and then disappear for like an hour hahaha

so after the show they came and mingled with the audience and stuff, and i'm walking around same as pax east when panther's like "HEY it's been what like twenty MINUTES since i saw you?" and gives me a hug and i'm like "what" and we don't talk much because he's busy with other fans but as i'm about to leave i go over to say bye and he turns to me and is like "hey so what have you been up to since sunday?" and i'm like "uhhh trying to figure out how to get here mostly" and whatever we chat for a bit about pax, the east coast, etc., but dude i'm just really excited that he remembered me can i just fan... person (wait there's no gender neutral term for fangirl/boy what is this) a bit over raul panther aaaaaaaa

also i tried to practice fue the other night in the music studios and i had literally played just four notes when public safety came in all "hi the building's closing now, you need to leave." next year i'll probably be on the other side of campus from the studios anyway so i guess my housemates will just have to deal? IS WHAT I SAY but i don't really like to practice in front of other people sighhh